


Table for Two

by The_Exile



Category: StreetPass Chef, StreetPass Garden, StreetPass Quest, StreetPass Squad
Genre: Community: 40fandoms, Crack, Gen, Headcanon, Restaurants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-11-15 06:51:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11225589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Exile/pseuds/The_Exile
Summary: The newly opened restaurant has some distinguished visitors.





	Table for Two

**Author's Note:**

> Now I only need to absorb Mansion, Ninja, Adventure, Zombies, Slot Racer and Trader into my headcanon...

"I do apologise for our particular tastes," said the young man in the green velvet cloak. His features were delicate, his fine blonde hair tucked into a cowl, and the chef swore he recognised the man from somewhere. He was clearly trying to hide his appearance.

The seven foot tall, purple, glowing, semi-transparent wraith with large horns and sharp teeth was a little more distinctive. If the pair of them weren't paying so much money, the chef would probably have barred them and closed up the cafe by now - or, more realistically, ran away screaming. 

"We are proud to cater for every dietary requirement, sir," the chef replied, "I understand that the gentleman wishes the ectoplasm to be prepared strictly separately to the lobster in wine sauce?"

The ghost nodded, "My food would be lethal if consumed by the living, I'm afraid, as disappointed I am not to be able to share such a delicacy."

"Eugene, you are embarrassing me!" the young man retreated further under his cloak, staring down at his crystal goblet of fine wine to avoid having to look the chef in the eye.

"There is no need to be ashamed of having a refined palate," said the ghost, "We so rarely have a chance to eat out in the town. I booked the newly opened restaurant privately for us, so relax!"

"Believe me, we have been forced to deal with much more unusual requests at much shorter notice," the chef reassured the man, "This is nothing compared to the gentleman with the plants."

"Plants?" asked the ghost.

"The customer insisted that, not only was he a very strict vegan, he only ate a certain list of plants, none of which we had heard of. After being shocked that we had none in stock, he gifted us with a seed sample from his own gardens. I am afraid to say that we did not understand the rather complicated and unusual growing instructions, and now one of the plants has, ahem, eaten all the others."

"You're talking about Mr. Mendel. I thought so. I've met him," said the ghost, frowning, "You should not anger him, but nor should you encourage him to frequent this establishment. He is not the pleasant man he appears to be."

"Thank you for the advice, sir. I also had a bad feeling about him," said the chef, "The space pirate fellows we had in last week were rather awkward to cater for, too. I don't think any of the food they requested was actually obtainable on this planet. Then they attempted to loot and burn down the restaurant. Fortunately, this establishment is usually full of high-ranking adventurers."

"I would keep my guard up around the adventurers as well, if I were you," advised the ghost, "They are not adverse to partaking in looting and burning of their own."

"I'm surprised we had no adventurers all day, come to think of it," said the chef, "I heard the oddest rumour... that the local dungeon was closed for business because the final boss was taking the day off!"

"Final bosses need breaks too," said the ghost, "That is, if the management does not wish to get on the wrong side of the Union."

"The final boss is not the management?" the chef frowned, confused.

"No, sir, they are only the equivalent of shop managers. There are also branch managers, area managers, shareholders..."

"You seem knowledgeable on the subject, sir," said the chef, "If it is not impolite to ask...?" 

"Yes, I am the Ultimate Ghost," he admitted.

"And your companion...?"

"Would like another bottle of wine."

"Understood, sir. The gentleman's business is his own," the chef bowed, then signalled for a waiter to come and clear the plates while another ran for the bottle of wine, "Would either of you like anything else?"

"Another cup of souls, please," requested the Ultimate Ghost.

After the two of them had finished their plates, the ghost invited the man back to the final floor of the dungeon with him - he seemed unwilling to return to his own home. The couple left two official-looking scrolls behind on a plate along with a generous tip. One of the documents was a Royal Warrant of Appointment, the other was a certificate of partnership with the Worshipful Association of Labyrinth Guardians. 

The Mii Plaza was an odd place, noted the chef. Profitable, but odd.


End file.
